Enjoy the Silence
by ChelydraSerpetina100801
Summary: Near X Mello one sided and later Matt X Mello and L X BB Near loves Mello but Mello will never love him back. Warning: violence, suicide, cutting, and abuse.


I don't own Death Note or Death Note Another Note. Or anything else mentioned.

Warning for selfharm, suicide, violence, and slight yaoi.

Enjoy the Silence.

(Near POV)

Here I am again, in my room at  
Whammy's bandaging my bleeding arm and crying silently again. My tears dripped onto my bleeding arm as I cried out from the sudden pain the salty water brought. I quickly glanced toward the door, making sure it is still locked. I can't have anyone come in here right now, especially not Mello. No one can know what I do to deal with the pain. I know I shouldn't do it but with every passing moment, every tear, every drop of blood, I can feel. But that isn't why i do it. I do it as punishment. Punishment for never having been good enough. Never good enough to make my parents love me. They hurt me, physically and mentally. I still bear the scars. Sometimes i wonder why Mommy and Daddy never loved hated me, one day they beat me so much that people in blue pajamas came and took me away. I went to live with a family with three children. The two girls loved to dress me up as a princess all the time. It wasn't fun but it was bearable. But there was also a sixteen year old boy. He forced me to do things in the dead of the night. I couldn't take it so I ran away. Watari found me a year later in the streets of England a year later. I was nine. Now, five years later, I am worse. I have no friends and people hate me for being too smart. Just like my families did. Except here, I love those who hurt me. I am so messed up. Even though I feel like I should hate Mello for hurting me, I can't. I love him too much. Mello will never love me back, I know, but I will always love Mello. I suddenly hear thudding footsteps outside my door. I jumped back just as Mello barged through the door. "I KNOW HOW TO PICK LOCKS YOU LITTLE FREAK!" I hurriedly pulled my sleeve down over my arm, hoping the blood wouldn't go through. "YOU LITTLE ALBINO SHEEP YOU THINK YOU ARE BETTER THAN ME! DONT YOU?! I shrank back fearful of what was to come. Mello ran towards the bed, gripping my shoulders he pushed me roughly against the wall. "Well? Do you have anything to say?" I couldn't speak. Instead I leaned up and kissed Mello. I watched his eyes widen in shock. He immediately jumped away from me and ran out the door, slamming it behind him. I fell to the floor. "I knew no one could love me." I muttered as I reached towards my mattress and pulled out my pocket knife, pulling up my sleeve and dragging it across my skin. Pondering over what might happen if I went too deep. I began reliving these past few minutes and thinking how it would all be better in death. The knife went deeper and deeper the more I hated myself. All of a sudden I struck a vein, the resulting spurt of blood jolted me out of my thoughts as I cried out in pain. The room began to sway, my vision was becoming blurry. My last conscious thoughts were, "I'm sorry. I love you." Everything went dark.

(Mello POV)

"The little sheep just kissed me! What was that for!?" I quickly started running towards the library. After plopping heavily into a chair and scowling as I pulled out a bar of chocolate, Matt glanced up from his Pokèmon game. "Who do you need me to help you beat up now?... Did someone call you a girl again?" I frowned as I answered, "I don't want to talk about it.." "Awww but why not? " "I SAID NO!" "Please?..." *puppy eyes* Of all the things Matt had to do... The puppy eyes.. Grudgingly I told him, "Ok. Fine. Near kissed me...""WHAT THE HECK? HOW EXACTLY DID THAT HAPPEN?" Matt yelled. "Well... I was looking for Near because he was acting all high-and-mighty. I had him pushed up against a wall, he didn't say a word to me but he did lean up and kiss me." I explained. "Ok then... I wonder why he did that... you stay here and I'll go ask him what happened." Matt suggested, quietly exiting the room and leaving me to ruminate over my thoughts.

(Matt POV )  
While walking down the hallway I felt a sense I felt a sense of urgency. I started running down the hallway. As I reached Near's door I stopped in horror red blood was seeping out from under the door. I quickly tried the door, finding it was locked. I turned to the emergency button that L had installed all over Whammy's since A's death. After pushing the button L and Watari came running. Quickly taking in the sickening smell of blood and the red substance on the floor. Watari pulled out a key and unlocked the door. L cried out in shock and jumped back. Near's body lay on the floor covered in blood. I looked away quickly, seeing a dark shadow on the wall of the corner of my eye just as with Watari shooed me out of the room . I ran to find Mello and tell him what happened.

(L's POV )

Near just died. Why? I had promised myself that would never happen again. But this was A all over again. The second number one successor of L to commit suicide. Was that position cursed? "Watari, please get Matt out of here." I said under my breath. "And then find someone to help clean up this room. We need to get Near out of here." "Yes L. Do you need anything else?" Watari inquired. "No, I will be fine." After with Hari left the room I walked slowly towards the wall where I had seen a dark shadow as I approach the wall a dizziness fell over me. The grief and stress was getting to me. I passed out on the floor.

(Mello POV )

Matt came running to the library. He collapsed onto a couch crying. I said "What happened? Did the sheep kiss you too?" He was crying too hard to answer. Watari came into our room he looked grave as he walked over to me and said, "Near is dead. You are now number one." "What!?" I exclaimed in shock. Watari wiped away a tear before continuing. "He committed suicide by cutting a vein and bleeding to death. I'm so sorry, I knew you were close friends." I sank to the floor crying out, "It's all my fault! I'm sorry Near!" Linda glanced over and laughed, "You look so stupid, you are yelling at nothing. You know you hated him you drama queen!" "I'm sorry!" I yelled as I ran from the room. I ran quickly into the bathroom and upon finding a small white pocket knife in a corner I walked over and picked it up, holding it against my arm as my mind was immediately flooded with memories of how I have messed up and been a failure. Everything that made me hate myself was coming to me. I plunged the knife in my upper arm without thinking. I quickly pulled it out and stared as the blood slowly covered my arm and dripped onto the floor. It was beautiful. I was startled out of my trance by a dark shadow behind me. It spoke in a voice similar to L's but different somehow.. It was more threatening and dark. The voice commanded " Feel pain. Slowly let your mind take over... "Who are you?" "Well... I am known by many names but you can call me Ryuuzaki. And I am going to bring you somewhere else..."


End file.
